Recently, I had a big belly dance weekend, with a prime seat for people-watching. I saw lots of similarly-dressed women (stretchy black yoga pants and a tank top) and was struck by how different each person came across. It wasn't the clothes, it was the carriage. One woman in particular, a dancer from Baltimore, had a pulled-together look and an air of class and elegance, on stage and off. Other woman looked slouchy, dull, grumpy, casual, uncomfortable, friendly, giddy, tired... all of these impressions were conveyed by expression, posture, gait and carriage. I don't know what impression I give (probably exasperated, pissed off and in a hurry), but I'm sure it can be improved. So, my July resolution is to cultivate a put-together look of classy/casual.
I've enlisted the help of two people to help me spruce up my wardrobe. I already have two looks: the yoga/belly dance wardrobe and the casual/comfortable wardrobe. This month I plan to add this new pulled-together look. This is a sundress town, so I think adding a skirt or two and a 2-3 sundresses will do the trick. Just wearing the clothes, however, doesn't complete the resolution. I have to feel comfortable and look natural, not like a girl playing dress up or a tomboy wrestled into a dress. I practiced wearing a skirt and tank-top today.
The dress is just part of the makeover. The second part is presence. For this, I am working on posture and gait. For some reason, as a preteen I took some sort of "finishing" class where I learned to walk, sit, turn and carry myself like a Lady. It seemed so silly at the time, but fortunately I remember parts of the lesson and for the past several days have been concentrating on walking like a Lady. There's a lot to remember. Who knew walking could be so complicated? I don't do so well with good posture while sitting down, but it's early in the month yet, so I'll master walking before attempting to sit properly. Perhaps by the end of the month, I will have learned to walk without kicking myself in the ankles. I hope the bruises go away.
I don't know how I will know if I have achieved casual elegance. It's the sort of thing that observant people notice, but rarely comment on. How many times have you told someone they look elegant/confident/pulled-together? My hope is that at the end of the month, I'll have dressier clothes in my closet, that I'll be comfortable wearing them and that good posture and a more lady-like gait will feel natural.
Getting to Know All About You: (Off-topic) Grey or Gray?
Makeover Follow-Up: I have been working on the walk/posture thing for six days, and I don't think I've mastered it yet, at least not on the metro. I had the most uncomfortable metro ride ever on Thursday. It was crowded, so I couldn't sashay as much as I had hoped, and I had to stand in the metro by the door. Someone ground my elbow into the plexiglass divider - ouch! After a few stops, the car cleared and I was able to sit down and nurse my elbow. A balding, so-slick-he's-sleazy man stood in the aisle next to me and butt-wrapped me between two stops. (Butt wrap: when someone stands so close to a seated person that his/her butt cheeks envelop the seated person's arm.) What could I do? "Excuse me sir, you seem to have trapped my arm between your butt cheeks?" The person next to me was asleep, slumped over on my side of the chair, so there was no where for me to go. To add insult to injury, after the butt-wrapper moved away enough to release my arm, he elbowed me in the face while trying to get some candy in his pocket. I wonder if this is some subway fetish that I don't know about: butt-wrap a stranger, then elbow her in the face? I don't think a Lady with class and understated elegance would be butt-wrapped, ever. I have a lot of work to do.