blue artichoke

I'm, right now, draining the last of my very first mug of coffee. Yes, I've lived 30 years (almost 31) without ever drinking an entire cup of coffee. I've had sips and tastes here and there, only to reminded that, nope, I don't like coffee. I know this concept will be unfathomable to many of you.

Here's why I have avoided coffee:
1) It's addictive. I know so many people who say they can't function until they get their morning cup of coffee. They get crabby and irritable without their daily fix. And it rarely stops at just one cup.
2) It's expensive. How much do you spend at Starbucks? A 20-oz. diet Coke rarely runs more than $2.
3) It's a cult. People can get fanatic about coffee. Weird.
4) It's bitter. I know good coffee made properly is significantly smoother than cheap coffee, but it's still bitter to me.
5) It's fattening. In order to mask the bitterness, I'd have to add so much sugar and cream, making it very caloric. If I'm going to ingest that much sugar, I'd much rather eat dessert.
6) It gives you nasty breath. After drinking this one mug of coffee, I feel like I need to brush my teeth, pronto. I can feel a film growing on my tongue. Ick.
7) It's bad for your stomach. The high acidity of coffee can wreak havoc on your stomach and intestines. I have an iron stomach, so I don't think coffee would bother me. Perhaps I have an iron stomach because I haven't ingested an acid bath several times a day for the past 15 years...

Here's why I would like to enjoy coffee:
1) It's potent. I like caffeine, and coffee has a lot of it.
2) It's natural. Diet soft drinks contain so many chemicals and artificial ingredients. I worry about how much artificial sweetener I ingest, though not enough to stop drinking diet soft drinks. I am looking for one sweetened with Splenda, or sucralose, as I think that is not quite as bad for me as aspartame.
3) It cleans you out. I think you know what I mean.

I've recently spent a lot of time with two fanatic coffee geeks (namely, my husband and my brother), so I've been involved in many conversations about coffee. They have discovered the secret to the perfect cup of coffee (Peet's coffee made in an Aeropress), and are involved in tweaking factors on the margin (water temperature, steeping time, number and speed of stirs, etc) to improve on perfection. My brother asked me about my aversion to coffee and said bitterness is not a valid reason, as this perfect cup of coffee is smooth. So, I decided to try it. I didn't think I'd like it, because I dislike even sweet coffee-flavored things (mocha chocolate, coffee ice cream, etc.).

And, I was right. I could drink this cup of perfect coffee, but I still find it bitter. It wasn't as distasteful as I anticipated, but I don't foresee a coffee addiction in my future.

By the way, I drank my coffee black.

Getting to Know All About You: Are you a coffee addict?

3:45pm UPDATE: About 30 minutes after finishing my cup o' java, I headed to my Muay Thai class. I thought I'd kick ass (literally) being so jacked up on caffeine. Not so. I felt twitchy and shaky, and a bit unsteady, which makes it difficult to kick someone in the face. I don't know if this was caffeine-related, but I was exhausted by my burn-out, which usually leaves me tired and out-of-breath, but I usually recover quickly. Not so today.