blue artichoke

Whoops. I thought yesterday was today. The results from the actual final weigh-in for the month show a 2.2 pound loss (or 1 kg, for those who are metric-minded). Better than yesterday's results, but still not too impressive.

Perhaps because I haven't been as successful as I'd like in shedding pounds, I've been shedding other things. My urge to spring clean has come early this year. I started paring down the clothes in my closet, finding something to weed out almost every day. A friend of mine owns only clothes she loves. She says it's never difficult finding something to wear because everything in her closet is her favorite. My closet, on the other hand, is divided into the clothes I love but never wear and the clothes I wear but don't particularly like. I try to save my favorite clothes for "special occasions," which rarely come. I'm realizing what a bad strategy this is, as I'm having to get rid of a lot of my favorite clothes that no longer fit, and that I rarely took the chance to enjoy. So, I could do with half the amount of clothes in my closet, getting rid of the everyday clothes I wear but don't love.

Despite the frigid temperatures, I've been spending quite a bit of time in our basement, sorting through all the stuff we store there. The flood earlier this month moved the basement higher on my priority list. Just about everything in our storage room is stuff fit for a yard sale, so I think we'll have one in the spring. In the meantime, I'll continue prowling around the house looking for more things to shed.

A guy named Dave undertook a 100 Thing Challenge, where he shed all but the 100 most important or useful things to him. That's quite a difficult challenge. My end goal is not to have an arbitrarily-picked number of items (though 100 sounds pretty good), but to shed all unnecessary, unloved, and unwanted things. As I'm going through my stuff, I keep asking myself, "If I didn't have this, would I go out and buy it?" If the answer is probably not, I add it to the yard sale collection.

Tomorrow (really): February resolutions.

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 09:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I know it's been a while since my last post. Unfortunately, my absence cannot be explained by my wasting away on the January diet. This morning was the final weigh-in, and thanks to my restrictive diet, I lost a grand total of 1.6 pounds. Not very impressive, not at all. The diet isn't specifically a weight-loss diet, but a hearty-healthy diet. After an overnight fast, I had some blood drawn this morning for a battery of tests, including cholesterol, lipids, and triglycerides. My last blood test showed that I was in optimal health, so unless these tests place me in the super-optimal health zone, I see no reason to continue depriving myself of delicious home-baked goodies.

Though the diet isn't specifically a weight-loss diet, it is by default a low-carb and calorie restricted diet. I chose it because I had reached a weight plateau and hoped a vast overhaul of my diet would set things in motion again. It didn't, and I think there's a good chance that I did something wrong. I'm still 10 pounds away from my arbitrarily-chosen ideal weight. Though the scale is stuck wavering between the same 3 pounds or so, my body composition has changed. Indeed. I'm down two, almost three, sizes (over the last several months - that's not all just from the January diet!). Most of my pants don't fit anymore. Even a pair of the new skinnier pants I bought when I gave away all my big pants is too big after a day of wear. So, even though the scale is being uncooperative, I'm making progress and maybe the diet wasn't all for naught.

I do plan to stick with the basic diet, with eased restrictions. I feel good on the diet, like I'm living cleanly. My energy level is constant, with no late-afternoon crashes. I still have a sweet tooth, but my cravings for sweets throughout the day has subsided greatly. Cooking has become easier, because all I have to do is choose what sort of meat and vegetables I want to roast for dinner. I rely on herbs and spices for flavorings. Grocery shopping is so easy. I buy whatever sort of meat we're low on, then browse the produce section for whatever fruits and vegetables look good.

So, that's one resolution completed. The results weren't exactly what I hoped for, but becoming leaner is much more important than reaching a number on a scale (though I'm still shooting for that magic number!).

Tomorrow: the February resolution.

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 09:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I've discovered the secret to successful bathing suit shopping. It's sort of involved, so pay attention:
First, go to the dentist. Have something done -- root canal, filling, teeth whitening -- the procedure doesn't matter as long as you get nitrous. This is crucial. You'll feel really good. Nothing will bother you, not even when your dentist says, "What am I hitting back there? You don't have a wisdom tooth, do you? No. Huh. Let's try this again."

Immediately after leaving the dentist, go directly to the bathing suit department of a store. Scoop up lots of brightly-colored or dark and slimming suits in various sizes. Go to the dressing room and try them on. Don't dawdle. The nitrous will wear off. But until it does, you'll feel good about yourself. You'll like what you see in the mirror.

That's how I ended up with a hot pink bikini. Of course, getting the bathing suit home and wearing it out in public are two very different matters. My dentist will not be accompanying me to the beach, so I suppose several pina coladas will help me venture out into the public eye.

I bought a bikini last year and never wore it. Turquoise and gold, it is a bit too exotic and draws too much attention for someone unaccustomed to revealing flesh. I think I'm much more likely to wear the pink one. It's bright, and hopefully a bit blinding, so no one can get a really good look at me.

I have about 8 more weeks until I go to Mexico. Eight weeks to find an ab or two. Unfortunately, my January diet doesn't seem to be doing much for weight loss. Three weeks in and I've lost two pounds, despite an enormous overhaul of my diet. I'm perplexed, but will keep with it through the end of the month and maybe find another approach for February.

Getting to Know All About You: Do you have any shopping strategies?

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 05:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I've learned the dangers of grocery shopping while hungry, but today I learned the dangers of shopping while high on endorphins.

Immediately following my Muay Thai class, I went on a shopping spree... at Dollar General. I actually did need to get something there, so the location wasn't entirely happenstance. Usually I'm a get-in, get-what-I-need and get-out sort of shopper, but after a rather strenuous workout, I browse. I bought some after-Christmas bags and ribbons. I bought a plastic collapsible crate (these are actually quite handy. I have some already that I bought at The Container Store. These were not as sturdy, but only $4!). I bought the lotion that I went there to buy. The rest just seemed like a good idea at the time. I didn't need any of those things, but I'll certainly use them.

This happened last week too. Then, I went to the mall, specifically to J.C. Penny. They were having a ridiculous sale (40% off + an additional 70% off of most things in the store). GC found some shirts he liked ($6) and wanted more. I wanted a new winter coat. I spent hours browsing and trying on clothes before deciding I didn't like or need anything. I did, however, get a new coat. I haven't taken the tags off of it yet, because I might return it. It's very unlike me, and I haven't decided whether that is a good thing or not. As I buy new clothes throughout the year, I'm trying to adopt a new style, one that doesn't mimic that of my mom or grandmother. Right now if you looked in my closet, you'd think it belonged to a middle-aged woman. There's nothing wrong with that, except that I'm not middle-aged.

The problem is that that's my style. Conservative, I suppose, would best describe my dress. Also, comfortable. I'd like to keep the comfort part, but dress a bit more stylishly. So, I'm trying out new looks, to see which fits best. If you see me prancing around in something entirely inappropriate, bear with me. And if you see me in a department store holding the same pair of slacks the grey-haired cashier is wearing, please slap them right out of my hand.

The coat I bought is red, wool, and swing-style. It's cute. I'm not sure that "cute" is the look I'm going for. Thirty is too old for cute. Also, for Ugg boots, shorts with words across the booty and giant sunglasses. Especially all together as an ensemble. I'm not sure what 30s style is. It's a bit of a catch-age; too old for college couture and too young for elastic-waisted trousers. I don't have kids, so I can't go for the harried-mom look. I don't work in an office, so I can't go for business-casual. I'm at a loss. Hopefully, this year will be about finding my own style. And growing out my hair.

Getting to Know All About You: Do you have a "look"? What's your style?

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 09:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

New year, new beginnings, right?

This month has been about cutting out things that don't benefit me, like sugar. I'm still struggling with my sweet tooth. It hasn't helped that I've been eating protein bars that are chocolate and vanilla flavored. I'm cutting down on those. Emergency only.

I'm trying to adopt the habit of being an email ninja. I check my email several times a day, but am usually too lazy to reply immediately. No more. Now, I delete, archive or respond as soon as I read a message. Having an empty email inbox is surprisingly satisfying.

Just now, only a few seconds ago, I deleted all the games from my computer. I have an unusually slow connection for unexplained reasons, so whenever I launch a browser or wait for a new page to load, I fire up Spider Solitaire and play a game. Usually the page loads before I'm very far into the game, but I play anyway. When I'm bored or at loose ends, I play a game. I waste so much time playing games on my computer. Now, they're all gone. I'll either have to become more productive or patient. I expect I'll find new ways to procrastinate.

I have several ongoing projects around the house that I want to finish. I'm sick of them. I've divided each project into workable chunks and set deadlines. If I can't make the deadline, I'll abandon the project. Simple as that.

I cut my hair last week. It wasn't doing me any good. I cut off the lazy no-good hairs and kept the ones that work for me. It's still about the same length, just layered and almost a recognizable style. Most of my resolutions this year will be monthly, but I have set a year-long resolution: to grow out my hair. I can trim the ends and add layers and such, but I can't cut a significant amount off of the length. Just for fun. Let's see what happens.

Getting to Know All About You: What's not working for you?

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 08:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Have you ever had a dream that seemed so real that your brain treated it like a memory, as if it really happened?

My dream about becoming best friends with Tim Sylvia was so realistic that when I did see him shortly after waking from the dream, I approached him as if we had actually met before and become friends. Only after I grabbed his hand did I realize that this man was really a stranger, so perhaps I should unhand him. That was weird and awkward, but that wasn't the end of it. Part of the dream was trying to figure out which door I should use to bring him into my gym for my Muay Thai class. When I went to my Muay Thai class this week, I had such a sense of deja vu as I walked into the gym and had a little freak-out moment as I thought, "Oh, crap. I should have brought Tim through the side door." I had to remind myself that that was only a dream, that Tim Sylvia wasn't actually with me at the gym. Again, weird. The dream has invaded my memory.

Reading the Kosher Gentile's recounting of our trip to Vegas makes it even more apparent how faulty my memory is. His account makes more sense than mine. I "remembered" planning to stay longer in Vegas, but being disappointed and deciding to leave earlier than planned. On my subsequent trips to Vegas, I've wondered how on earth I was disappointed on the first trip. I'm not much of a gambler, true, and we were watching our money so weren't tempted by any shows, but there is still plenty to do and see in Vegas without spending a lot of money (really!). I've loved Vegas on my recent trips. His story makes more sense, so why did I remember it incorrectly?

I've known that I have a bad memory, but I thought my problem was just not remembering some things. I didn't think it was remembering things incorrectly. I think I've got my new research topic now: how memory works and, more importantly, how to improve mine. If anyone happens to know a good starting point or can recommend some good books, do tell.

Getting to Know All About You: Have you had realistic dreams that you couldn't shake, premonitory dreams or recurring dreams?

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 02:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I do want to write about the entire Cross-Country for Dummies experience, but for now I can only comment on Vegas.

After being followed, and ultimately passed, by natural and unnatural disasters, Blue Artichoke and I found ourselves speeding across California heading for Las Vegas. We were pretty sure we'd hate it and agreed to stay for just a short time. We called White Mackerel's parents in Oklahoma and told them we'd be there in two days -- after all, we didn't want to be in Vegas and it was only because it was something we "had to see" and it was on the way.

We rolled into Vegas sometime mid-day, didn't we?

We parked at Mandalay Bay after driving all the way up the Strip and all the way back. It was a gaudy masterpiece of surrealism -- seriously, a large city in the middle of the frickin' desert.

We got on the little tram and rode until we reached New York, New York. We had lunch there -- I had a burger/chicken sandwich. It was nothing memorable, but it was in the sandwich genre of foods. We went to the Luxor, because if you're in the desert, you should have a pyramid. And if it's the desert, why not also make it BLACK?

Anyway, BA and I dropped some coins into the slot machines. I had $1.25 on me, so that's what I spent... and despite getting up to almost three dollars, I lost it all.

Blue Artichoke had much better luck, but she had a better reason to play. BA had a goal -- retiring at age 23 -- and she was going to win those retirement funds in our stopover.

It would have needed to be a frugal retirement -- BA walked away with $6.25, and I'm pretty sure that was a win, overall.

We decided against staying in the glitzy Motel 6, which was oddly expensive compared to the other hotels in Vegas, and found some random motel on the edge of town. We had hoped to go much farther and be well on our way to Oklahoma, but we really wanted to see the Hoover Dam, so we stopped for the night before reaching that.

The next morning, we took the dam tour, but the free dam tour, not the costly dam tour (which was $30 if memory serves me correctly).

We lamented the short time we spent in Vegas, as we had a blast. Six hours was definitely not enough. We were surprised, too -- but we went in with REALLY low expectations.

Getting to Know All About You: Have you ever been someplace you didn't think you'd like, and ended up loving? Or went someplace you'd always wanted to visit and then ended up hating it?

Posted by Red Momo, aka the Kosher Gentile at 11:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

We didn't actually have Russian food today for Wandering Gullet. I'm by myself for dinner as GC is off skiing in St. Louis. Yes, there are actually places to ski in St. Louis.

However, we did have a great Russian meal in Las Vegas a few weeks ago, at Red Square in Mandalay Bay. The website describes the atmosphere as capturing the romance and intrigue of Imperialist Russia, but the giant hammer and sickle carved into the floor in the entrance and the giant painting of Lenin glorify Communism and the atrocities committed under Lenin's Red Terror. A weird thing to emphasize in a restaurant. But, the food was good.

After the very disappointing Russian Red Lentil soup I made, I felt I owed Russia another chance (culinarily, that is). I hoped to try vareniki, a favorite of Red Meat and Crawfish Etoufee, but it wasn't on the menu. So, I had chicken Kiev. Deeeelicious, although all the herb/butter mixture was concentrated in one spot, so I didn't find it until I was almost done, then BAM! - suddenly my chicken had mad flava. Someone else at the table got beef stroganoff. That was the best choice, by far. We all helped ourselves to each other's food and unanimously declared the BS to be the tastiest. GC got a duck dish, which probably earned second-best dish on the table even though it wasn't distinctly Russian.

Red Square also carried my favorite Polish vodka, Zubrowka, but at $16 a shot, it was too spendy for me. Plus, Polish vodka is a troublemaker. Polish beer is better. I have no experience with Russian beer. Or with real Russian vodka.

Getting to Know All About You: What's your favorite foreign beverage?

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 10:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I used to think. About things. And ideas. I used to be smart. But I'm not anymore. I'm jaded and intellectually lazy.

Recently I sorted through a big plastic folder that held all my notes, handouts, essays and papers from college. I kept them in case I needed to reference something some day. Now I use those notes, handouts and papers as scrap printer paper. I flipped a few pages around to read what I had written and found papers comparing the economic reforms of the late 1980s in Mexico and Russia, detailing the best foreign policy strategy for China, applying the Confucian work ethic to economic development in Asia, delving into the themes of sacrifice in various works of fiction, and so on. I was an expert on the Cold War after college. I double-majored in political science and international relations. Now, I have very little interest in politics and have no idea what's going on in current events. I don't watch the news. I rarely read newspapers (print or online). Journalism school jaded me, and now I'm just another ignorant and uninformed American. I used to pay attention to the news, but I got too angry and stressed out. I made an effort to withdraw. I've been happier, sure, but I can't be content just reading cookbooks and food magazines. I get on kicks of reading nonfiction, so my mind hasn't completely lost it's ability to process new information. I do have a terrible memory, though, so the results of careful reading and investigation are soon lost. I once wrote a thesis about the plight of the gypsies. I won an award, with a cash prize and a plaque. I presented the paper. I don't know anything about gypsies anymore, other than they like to be called Roma and are offended by the slang term "gypped."

I also used to be a really good writer. So many of my essays have red ink praise written at the bottom. A few ask for copies to be used as writing samples. I read those papers now and am impressed with my own style and clarity, but don't recognize the writing as my own. My mind isn't as nimble. Even if I had all the information, I don't think I could write as eloquently now about Latin American privatization as I did then.

I think my biggest problem now is that I'm no longer curious. I prided myself on being able to get caught up in any topic, no matter how boring it seemed at first. I remember my military-industrial complex days. Who knew I could generate passion about tanks and submarines?

I'm trying to get it back, this curiosity and interest in the world around me. I want to care again about the things that matter, even if it means I sometimes get angry and stressed out. I'm easing my way in by picking a topic to research. I've been reading a lot about nutrition, but think I need something a little more theoretical.

Ideas? Seriously. This is your chance to take over my brain for the next few weeks. And don't you dare say the campaign. Political campaigns make me very angry. It's best for all involved if I withdraw from that conversation.

Go.

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 11:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Why, here it is already the second week of January and I haven't told you what's in season. Shame on me. Let not another moment pass in this slight.

Key: n = newly in season p = peak of season w = winding down

Vegetables

• avocado: Fuerte (w)
• avocado: Haas (n)
• avocado: Zutano (w)
• broccoli
• cabbages:bok choy (w)
• cabbages:brussels sprouts
• cabbages: green
• cabbages: napa
• cabbages: savoy
• carrots
• cauliflower
• celery
• celeriac/celery root
• chard
• collards (n)
• daikon (w)
• fennel (n)
• greens: stirfry mix
• kale
• leeks
• mushrooms, wild
• onions, green (n)
• potatoes, white (w)
• rutabaga (w)
• spinach
• squash, butternut (w)
• sunchoke
• turnips (w)

Fruits

• grapefruit
• kiwi
• kumquat
• lemons (p)
• mandarins: tangerines (p)
• oranges: blood (n)
• oranges: navel (n)
• pears: Anjou
• pears: Bosc (w)
• pears: Comice (w)
• rhubarb, hothouse (n)

GC and I have been eating a lot of broccoli. It's super drizzled with olive oil and sprinkled with salt and pepper, then roasted in the oven until beginning to brown. And, if you line the cookie tray with foil first, there's no clean-up! This method also works well with cauliflower (also in season this month).

I don't want to risk getting tired of broccoli, so I think I need to branch out to collards, kale and spinach. And, of course, we need to get our fill of butternut squash while it is still in season.

Getting to Know All About You: Anything on that list excite you?

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 08:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

When you read that title, how many of you thought I'd developed a taste for blow? And decided to blog about it!? Sadly, this is not nearly as exciting. I snorted Afrin. I've been sick for the past few days, with the bulk of the storm in my head -- clogged ears, sore throat, swollen lymph nodes in my neck. Sneezing was followed by the sound of squealing fireworks. Breathing sounded like creaky doors.

I usually try to let my body sort itself out when I'm sick, not because I have anything against science or pharmaceutical companies (I love them both), but because I have a rockstar immune system and I like to give it a chance to impress me (although, if I'm sick already, it's already fallen of the pedestal I keep it on). After one sleepless night and with another looming, GC convinced me to try snorting Afrin to open up my nasal passages so I could breathe. I was skeptical. If I couldn't breathe, how was I supposed to inhale medicine? I've always been apprehensive about purposefully propelling something up my nose, but I tried it, and it was awesome. It took a few squirts, but within minutes I could breathe clearly. I'm a convert. I've used it the last three nights before bed. GC has opened up a whole new world for me. Soon I'll be prowling the house looking for things to crush up and snort.

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 01:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I know, I know, it's sacrilegious to go to Vegas, sin Mecca, and not lay down a wager, but I'd been three times without ever playing a table game. The first time I went was with Red Momo. After driving through beautiful national parks and the California coast, perhaps Vegas was too bright and shiny for our blinking eyes. I think we both dropped a quarter in a slot machine and called it a day (RM: our trip is a blur, punctuated by several clear memories. Vegas falls in the blur. Please correct.) I dropped a few dollars worth of quarters into a slot machine on my second visit, but only as camouflage as Blue Grilled Cheese and I spied on GC's poker tournament. I don't really consider slot machines to be gambling because the odds are so against my favor. It's not a "gamble," it's a sure loss. I look at it as a cheap way to get free drinks and people watch. I didn't gamble at all on my third visit, even foregoing my seat at the family poker tournament. But the fourth time, buddy, the fourth time's the charm.

GC is the blackjack wizard (though he couldn't compete with my beginner's luck on this trip), so he taught me his "system" on the plane. We found a $5 table with an empty spot, so I sat down and promptly forgot all of his coaching. No matter. Coach GC hovered over my shoulder and helped out when I made bad decisions. There was another couple of beginners to my right, an old pro who was teaching the game to her sister on my left and a helpful couple at the other end of the table who also joined my coaching staff. I played for about 45 minutes, then suddenly wasn't feeling it anymore. I just simply didn't want to play, so I left the table $25.50 richer. GC took my spot and ran into some trouble. The beginner couple also busted, as did the lurker who jumped in to take their place.

Looks like I know when to fold 'em.

Here's what I've accomplished so far:

30 New Things Recap:
1. Roast a duck
2. Learn to make glass beads
3. Swim in an underground river
4. Sea-Trek
5. Touch a sea turtle
6. Make a chocolate meringue pie
7. Eat collard greens
8. Cirque du Soleil: Ka
9. Make ice cream
10. Eat lunch with a down's syndrome guy
11. Learn to post pictures on my blog
12. Wear shorts, a tank top and a thong on purpose, all day and in public
13. Join a Ladies’ Disc Golf League
14. Begin Muay Thai lessons
15. Visit a Spa and Got a Foot Massage
16. Pedicure
17. Cookie Press
18. Text Message
19. Christmas Spirit
20. UFC 79
21. Met Celebrities
22. Gambled in Vegas

Getting to Know All About You: What's your biggest gambling payoff?

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 06:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

No Wandering Gullet last weekend, because I hadn't yet figured out this new diet when I did the menu planning. It'll be a bit more difficult, but I think I can still find ethnic recipes that will work for me. Actually, it may be easier, especially if I turn toward the developing countries where people eat whatever they can grow or kill.

My house, it seems, was scheduled for deterioration in 2008. Already, the furnace has gone awry. (Hopefully a new motor will fix things. And hopefully my landlord can replace the motor soon. It's been three days since he said he'd be back to install a new one.) Last night, the sump pump gave up the ghost right in the middle of a terrific storm, so our basement flooded. The only casualties so far are an Oriental rug and a style book. I think everything else can be salvaged. It certainly is difficult to plan my day when these things keep happening and I have to throw aside everything else to wait for the landlord or mop up the basement. If bad things happen in threes, what's next?

In other, happier news, the new season of one of the best shows on tv, The Wire, started last Sunday! The focus this season is on the media, which is particularly interesting to a jaded journalism master such as myself. Also, American Gladiators started on Sunday. I tune in for Crush, who seems a bit out of place among the more theatrical gladiators. It's an awesomely ridiculous and curiously heart-warming show.

Getting to Know All About You: Who's your favorite Gladiator?

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 06:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

After a week of eating foods (mostly) found in nature, I feel pretty good. I haven't lost any weight, but I have noticed flagging energy levels. I can't blame the diet for that just yet; I've been in some sort of time zone limbo and sleep has been awkward and inconvenient. With GC back home to set a normal schedule for me, I'll be back to my usual sleep pattern and will know whether the low energy can be blamed on my diet or my lack of sleep.

The most difficult part has been satisfying the incredible craving for sweets after dinner. GC and I are used to a truffle reward for making it through the day. Until truffles start growing in nature, I'll have to find alternate solutions. So far, honey-coated walnuts are filling the bill, though I'd like to eventually shake this craving for sweets.

I've also become more dependent on protein bars than I'd like, eating one every day. I need to find some alternative quick snack. I can eat only so many nuts. I've never been much for smoothies, but I may have to find one that is tasty to my mouth.

At GC's request, I removed all the banned foods from the pantry. I initially planned to move the temptations to my gadget-storage nook, but when confronted with the sheer volume of treats, I decided to remove them from the house completely. I threw some away and took a bag filled with unopened treats to the Food Bank:

I feel much better with those cheeky treats out of the house, but a little bit guilty for donating junk food to people who can't afford to stock their pantries with healthy foods. I donated to the Food Drive before Christmas, so assuage my guilt by imaging that money went toward fresh vegetables and meat instead of toward the advertising budget for future food drives.

Getting to Know All About You: One week in to the new year, how are you doing with your resolutions?

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 03:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

The smell of meat being seared over high heat, followed by the aroma of a slow-roasting pot roast mingled with caramelizing sugar and brewing dark-roast coffee are pleasant smells in a nice restaurant, perhaps a high-end steakhouse. They are quite alarming, however, when they're emanating from the heating grate in your floor.

That's what we awoke to this morning at the Blue Artichoke homestead. I dreamt of pot roast; now I know why.

Obviously something was burning somewhere within the heat ducts, but how dangerous it could be was anyone's guess. When the smoke alarm started blaring, I started to get concerned. Whatever down there wasn't just burning, it was smoking. I dismantled the smoke detector, turned off the heat and called the landlord, in that order. I started worrying about smoke inhalation. I couldn't see any smoke, but there was obviously enough to make the smoke detector go haywire. Then I started worrying about an explosion: we have gas heat and something was burning that wasn't supposed to burn. I decided that was silly, and went on with my morning (though I did bring up Fat Larry's pet carrier in case we had to make a hasty exit). My landlord came over, thumped and cursed at the furnace and declared a seized motor, easy to fix (tomorrow). In the meantime, we still have heat, just no fan to blow it through the ducts, so it drifts lazily up into the living room. Better than nothing.

I sure could go for some pot roast.

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 06:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Continued from yesterday:

We saw all of the fighters taking part in UFC 79 at the weigh-ins, but we also saw them (and others) just walking around the casino. I know this probably isn’t very exciting to most of you, but to see the people I pay good money to see on pay-per-view just wandering around like ordinary people was quite thrilling. And, this leads me to another New Thing…

They may be only niche celebrities, known only to those who are into mixed martial arts, but I think I was probably more excited to meet them than I would be to meet any NFL football player, NBA basketball player, or other sports celebrity. These are the people I met: Manvel Gamburyan, Dan Henderson (PRIDE heavyweight and light heavyweight champion), Jason “Mayhem” Miller, John Hackleman (Chuck Liddell's trainer), Tim Sylvia (former UFC heavyweight champion), Eddie Bravo, Jason Lambert (who knocked out my fighter crush), Dean Lister, Joe Lauzon, Josh Burkman, Mac Danzig and Roger Huerta. I saw Clay Guida at the weigh-ins, and spotted these fighters just wandering around Mandalay Bay: Lyoto Machida, Chuck Liddell (former UFC light heavyweight champion), Wanderlei Silva, Melvin Guillard, current UFC light heavyweight champion Quinton Rampage Jackson, James Irvin, Roan Carneiro, Keith Jardine, Scott Smith, trainers Greg Jackson and Sol Solis, and referee Herb Dean. And, the one most of you will recognize, Joe Rogan (UFC commentator, comedian and host of Fear Factor).

I was pretty shy at first, but as I saw more fighters wander past, I got bolder and started approaching them. Most, I just shook hands with, but a few I grabbed for pictures. In a rather awkward encounter, I ended up holding hands with Tim Sylvia. I first spotted him at the weigh-ins, looking rather awkward and lonely as he hunkered down in an empty row of seats and ate a sandwich. There were lots of people around, but no one paid him any attention. He balled up the plastic wrap from his sandwich and threw it at Mike Goldberg (commentator). It fell short, so he tried it again with greater success, but Goldberg ignored him. He’s a good fighter, but has had rather lackluster performances in his last few fights. He’s socially awkward and difficult for the UFC to market, so he doesn’t have a lot of fans. In fact, he gets booed a lot. I felt sorry for the guy. In my post-weigh-in nap, I dreamt that I ran into him, took his hand and went shopping. After that we were BFF and he came to visit me in Missouri. I wanted to take him to my Muay Thai class, but was afraid he would cause a riot if he walked in the front door of the gym, so I was trying to arrange an entrance through the emergency-exit door by my classroom. Then I woke up. Later that afternoon, I spotted him walking purposefully through the casino. He’s huge and had on his mean face. I was intimidated, but we were BFF, right?, so I walked right up, stuck out my hand and said, “Hey!” He was holding a drink, so stuck out his left hand. I grabbed it and was so flustered that I forgot to let go. He never slowed down, so I walked alongside him for a few steps holding his hand. When I realized what I was doing, I let go and fell back in his wake. Weird and awkward.

Most of the other fighters I met were very nice. The most personable was Eddie Bravo. The funniest was Mayhem Miller, who told GC that he was his favorite pro wrestler after GC told him that he was his favorite slap boxer. I was only dissed twice, first by Chuck Liddell, which was understandable because he was heading to the gym and trying to cut weight for his fight, and then Rampage Jackson, who was there to do publicity and watch the show. Rampage saw us approaching, turned and walked away. Dismissed. I like the guy, but I have to admit that he’s gone down a bit in my estimation.

The only "celebrity" there I wanted to meet, but didn't even see, was Michael Malice, author, editor of Overheard in New York and self-proclaimed supervillain.

Getting to Know All About You: What celebrities have you seen and/or met?

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 09:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

The time frame for my 30 New Things is dwindling, but I was able to add several things to the list over the holidays. After Christmas, GC and I went to Las Vegas with my brother and his girlfriend. I’ve been twice in the last year or so (first for Blue Grilled Cheese’s 30th birthday and again for my generation family reunion), so that wasn’t new. But going to Las Vegas to attend an Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) fight is new. GC and I have been to several small mixed martial arts shows, but even those couldn’t prepare me for the Big Show. It was so awesome that all other sporting events pale in comparison.

During the two co-main events, I curled my hands into fists, tensed every muscle in my body and sat on the edge of my seat, leaning forward to shout ("oh!" or "yah!") because I was incapable of stringing together multiple syllables. GC said I clapped so hard that I hurt his ears. It was amazing, a thousand times more exciting than watching at home. After the fights were over, my whole body was shaking from sitting tensed up for almost a half hour. I had to grip the railing to make it down from my seat, my legs were so rubbery. But still I had so much nervous energy that I felt like sprinting around the arena just to calm down a bit. We went for a late dinner and I was too excited to eat much, which was a shame because my food was really good.

I think sitting down watching a UFC fight live is an excellent cardio workout. I wish I had worn my heart-rate monitor, to see if my heart was racing as fast as it seemed to be. Ah, my heart is racing now just thinking about it. I've got to go shower; I'm getting too sweaty.

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 04:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

While sorting through my files (see previous entry), I came across an article from Cooking Light (1994) about lucky New Year's food. To cover your bases, you might want to try all these culturally lucky foods. If you make it through the day without throwing up, you're lucky for sure!

If it's wealth you're after, try legumes. It's said that eating a Southern dish called "hopping John" (black-eyed peas and rice) will give you as much money as the peas you eat, though the exchange rate is anyone's guess. Often cooks prepare the rice with a piece of money in it. Whoever gets the coin in his or her serving will be rich (and so will his or her dentist). Other cooks substitute collard greens for the rice because they're green like money. The black-eyed peas, being sort of copper-colored, represent coinage.

Eating pork also brings luck because a hog roots forward, unlike a chicken who scratches backward. And forward is obviously where you want to go in life. For that reason, Germans, Austrians and Scandinavians trade marzipan pigs.

A Scottish superstition says that the first person stepping over the threshold in a new year decides the luck for the next 365 days. If it's a man with a lump of coal, a coin and a piece of bread (symbols of warmth, money, and food), he's treated to a glass of whiskey and a slice of brandy-soaked bun cake. (A man without those items will be kicked in the crotch for bringing bad luck for the year. And if it's a woman who first crosses the threshold? We won't even go there...)

Italians serve pasta smothered with coin-shaped lentils or lentils with zampone, which are stuffed pig legs. In Piedmont, rice stands for money, so people serve risotto. On New Year's Eve, some Italians share the first square of lasagna for luck.

In Spanish-speaking countries, 12 grapes -- one for each stroke of the clock at midnight -- are considered lucky. In Peru, it's 13 grapes (12 for the chimes and the 13th for luck).

Greeks serve vasilopita, a traditional New Year's bread, for dinner. They wrap a coin in foil or paper and press it into the dough before it bakes. Whoever finds the coin in his or her slice gets the luck (or the Heimlich maneuver, also lucky). On New Year's Eve, Greeks traditionally take a pomegranate to a friend's house, where they smash it on the floor so the seeds scatter. The wish is that your friend will has as much "agatha" (the good things in life) in the coming year as there are seeds in the fruit. Either that, or it's a distraction so they can get to the good champagne while their friend is sweeping up the smashed fruit). Jews eat apples dipped in honey to ensure the year will be sweet. Middle Eastern Jews eat pomegranate seeds to make the coming year fertile.

Latvians eat a whole fish on New Year's Day, saving a few of the scales to put in their wallets for stinky pants and a prosperous year. Aiming for a full, round year, the Dutch enjoy puffy, fruit-studded doughnuts. Scandinavians eat herring, a fish that swims in large schools, symbolizing abundance. Norwegians hide an almond in rice porridge. Irish, German and Eastern European families eat cabbage for luck (yeah, right).

The Japanese associate red fish with luck, so red snapper is a popular New Year's dish. A Japanese tradition calls for the head of the household to go through all of the rooms at midnight on New Year's Eve carrying a box of roasted beans. As he scatters them, he chants, "Out with the demons! In with good luck!"

The food and luck connections holds true for cultures and religions that observe New Year's on other dates, too. For example, Chinese serve broccoli on their New Year's because it's the color of jade, a gemstone that signifies youth and rebirth. For Tet, the Vietnamese New Year celebration, luck-seekers dine on whole red fish, like the Japanese do, but the person who eats the fish head and eyeballs gets the most luck.

In the Blue Artichoke household, a chocolate protein shake yields big, strong luck, a banana promises a sweet year, a diet soft drink chases out the demons and a green salad brings in the riches.

Here's wishing you a happy, and lucky, 2008!

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 03:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

New year = fresh start.

There are a few things I do at the beginning of each year to feel like I've started out on the right foot. I go through my files to weed out stuff I don't need and move the previous year's collection of various statements to the long-term filing cabinet in the basement. I buy a new cutting board (this year, I upgraded to bamboo!) on the assumption that if it can collect stains, then it can collect bacteria as well. I back up my music collection, my digital pictures, my recipes and my computer onto an external hard drive. I make my resolutions. I go back and forth on making resolutions, alternately thinking that it's a futile endeavor because I'll forget them before January is through, and that the start of the year is a great time for self-reflection and improvement. This year, I'm planning to make monthly resolutions, though I'm pretty sure I'll forget about that by February or March.

The January resolution, though, is to change my diet (notice I didn't say I was going to go on a diet). I've been reading several diet/health/nutrition books lately, and I'm becoming more convinced that a high-protein, low-carbohydrate diet is the healthiest diet. I think the Atkins and South Beach diet fads are based on good science, but I don't like the marketing and development of special supplements or fake carb substitutions. This diet that I'm cobbling together for myself has elements of several diets, but is probably closest to the Abs Diet. My plan is simple: eat foods that exist in nature, with minimal processing. The primary components of the diet will include meat, vegetables, fruits and nuts. Also allowed in limited quantities are dairy and legumes. Prohibited foods include flour and sugar. The exceptions are diet soft drinks (which I already limit to 1 per day, but I may try to phase these out. We'll see how it goes.) and protein powder shakes and bars. Both of these drinks are very highly processed, but helpful to me. I'll get tired of bacon and eggs for breakfast every morning, and don't often have the time to cook breakfast, so the protein shake will continue to be my usual breakfast. I need a pick-me-up when I hit my mid-afternoon slump, so I try to time my diet soft drink to counter that sleepiness. The protein bars will be for emergency situations, like when I'm out doing errands and need to eat something. So, that's the plan, in a nutshell. Poor GC will also be on this diet, by default, though he doesn't seem to mind. We do seem to have a rather large selection of simple carbohydrate foods in the house right now (crackers, tortilla chips, leftover Christmas cookies, etc.), so he can munch on those if he needs a break from my January diet plan.

I spent new year's eve pigging out on simple carbohydrates before the January resolution took effect. I probably ate two dozen Christmas tree cookies and half a dozen each of the snowball cookies and peanut butter cookies. I had gnocchi for dinner. I was so wired on a sugar rush that I couldn't go to sleep last night, so instead I read about how unhealthy those choices were and how a diet high in simple carbohydrates (flour and sugar) contributed to the diseases of civilization: diabetes, obesity, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart disease, and so on.

Today has gone well so far, though I noticed that the dried cranberries I put on my chicken salad at lunch have sugar as an ingredient. No more dried cranberries for me. Red Meat will be so happy.

Also, no more Sunday Muffins. Sigh. The most difficult part of this diet will be not baking. I'll miss making delicious breads, muffins, cookies, etc. more than I'll miss eating them. Oh, well, it's only one month.

Getting to Know All About You: Resolutions?

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 02:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)