blue artichoke

I've amassed quite a long summer reading list, though not many suggestions from you guys. The theme this summer is self-improvement, so I thought the best book to start with is What You Can Change & What You Can't: The Complete Guide to Successful Self-Improvement, by Martin E.P. Seligman, Ph.D. Why bother wasting my time reading self-improvement books about things I just can't improve selfly? Though this book is sort of old (1994), and I think I might have read it before (perhaps a book on improving memory and information retention is in order?), it surprised me in a few ways.

I'm 30, so it hasn't been that long since I've been in school, but it seems to me that my education focused much more on the nurture, rather than the nature, approach to psychology. Tabula rasa and free will. Nurture (i.e. formation of personality by childhood events) has been the popular approach since WW2, as a reaction to the Nazi genocide. The nature argument that Sam does better than Peter because he's genetically superior slid too far down the road to fascism and racism. The nurture argument that Sam does better because he had more opportunities as a child became popular, and helped the Civil Rights movement gain success. But, as it turns out, personality is more the product of our genes than previously thought, including traits such as intelligence, musical talent, religiousness, conscience, politics and exuberance. Far more of who we are is dictated by our genes than by our upbringing.

To save you the trouble of reading the book (though it is a pretty good book), here's a list of what you can change and what you can't:

What You Can Change:
1. Panic can be easily unlearned, but can't be cured by medicine.
2. Sexual dysfunction, such as frigidity, impotence and premature ejaculation, can be easily unlearned.
3. Moods can be readily controlled
4. Depression can be cured by a change in conscious thinking or helped by medicine, not by childhood insights.
5. Optimism can be learned.

What You Can't Change:
1. Dieting almost never works in the long run.*
2. Kids don't become androgynous easily.
3. Alcoholism - no treatment significantly improves the natural course of recovery.
4. Homosexuality.

*Now, this isn't to say that you should eat whatever you want because dieting doesn't work. Noooo, it isn't that easy. Every body has a set natural weight that it fights to maintain. Starving yourself will work - you'll lose weight, but not for long. Your body readjusts its processes to conserve more energy, lower metabolism, do whatever it takes to regain the set point for your natural weight. And once you've dropped too low below your natural weight, your body remembers that it was once starved and, like our caveman ancestors, will store fat at a higher rate in preparation for the next famine. Eat to be healthy, and your body will find its own ideal weight.

Getting to Know All About You: Now that you, too, know what you can change and what you can't, what skills do you want to learn? BA Answer: increase my memory retention, improve my ability to identify flavors/smells, become friendlier and learn what to do with my hands when I dance. You?