blue artichoke

I Tae Bo. And, according to a stand-up comedian I once saw, that's what white folks do. Let's listen in:

Comedian: Black folks, we shoot people. White folks Tae Bo. (Looks out at crowd, finds me, the only white person in the crowd.) White girl, I bet you just love Tae Bo, dontcha?

Me, bewildered and embarrassed: Who's Tae Bo?

It went downhill from there, as much of his act was about the differences between black and white folks, and as only whitey representative, I was singled out for much of the show. I left right after his set ended, before the dancing began and fellas tried to test the comedian's theories about white girls. I wonder how his show would have gone if I hadn't been there?

Anyway, I like trying out exercise videos, but have shied away from Billy Blanks because of this association. Recently, I've become interested in kick-boxing and am considering signing up for a class. Before I do, though, I've been running through all the kick-boxing videos in the Netflix library to see if I'd enjoy a real class. Yesterday, my first Tae Bo video showed up in the mailbox, so I tried it out this morning. It wasn't great, but it did get my heart rate up. I'll probably try another in the Tae Bo series, once the incessant counting from 1 to 8 stops running through my head.

Getting to Know All About You: Are you an exercise video person? What's your favorite?

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 01:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I've amassed quite a long summer reading list, though not many suggestions from you guys. The theme this summer is self-improvement, so I thought the best book to start with is What You Can Change & What You Can't: The Complete Guide to Successful Self-Improvement, by Martin E.P. Seligman, Ph.D. Why bother wasting my time reading self-improvement books about things I just can't improve selfly? Though this book is sort of old (1994), and I think I might have read it before (perhaps a book on improving memory and information retention is in order?), it surprised me in a few ways.

I'm 30, so it hasn't been that long since I've been in school, but it seems to me that my education focused much more on the nurture, rather than the nature, approach to psychology. Tabula rasa and free will. Nurture (i.e. formation of personality by childhood events) has been the popular approach since WW2, as a reaction to the Nazi genocide. The nature argument that Sam does better than Peter because he's genetically superior slid too far down the road to fascism and racism. The nurture argument that Sam does better because he had more opportunities as a child became popular, and helped the Civil Rights movement gain success. But, as it turns out, personality is more the product of our genes than previously thought, including traits such as intelligence, musical talent, religiousness, conscience, politics and exuberance. Far more of who we are is dictated by our genes than by our upbringing.

To save you the trouble of reading the book (though it is a pretty good book), here's a list of what you can change and what you can't:

What You Can Change:
1. Panic can be easily unlearned, but can't be cured by medicine.
2. Sexual dysfunction, such as frigidity, impotence and premature ejaculation, can be easily unlearned.
3. Moods can be readily controlled
4. Depression can be cured by a change in conscious thinking or helped by medicine, not by childhood insights.
5. Optimism can be learned.

What You Can't Change:
1. Dieting almost never works in the long run.*
2. Kids don't become androgynous easily.
3. Alcoholism - no treatment significantly improves the natural course of recovery.
4. Homosexuality.

*Now, this isn't to say that you should eat whatever you want because dieting doesn't work. Noooo, it isn't that easy. Every body has a set natural weight that it fights to maintain. Starving yourself will work - you'll lose weight, but not for long. Your body readjusts its processes to conserve more energy, lower metabolism, do whatever it takes to regain the set point for your natural weight. And once you've dropped too low below your natural weight, your body remembers that it was once starved and, like our caveman ancestors, will store fat at a higher rate in preparation for the next famine. Eat to be healthy, and your body will find its own ideal weight.

Getting to Know All About You: Now that you, too, know what you can change and what you can't, what skills do you want to learn? BA Answer: increase my memory retention, improve my ability to identify flavors/smells, become friendlier and learn what to do with my hands when I dance. You?

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 06:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

There's no gas crisis for the car. I run it on diesel fuel, and there's plenty of that. And at 50mpg (well, just 40mpg in the city), and prices the way they are... let's just say there's no crisis as I've never put more than $36 into Otto von Bismarck. Yes, you read that correctly. Otto von Bismarck. I named my car after the 19th century Prussian Chancellor that united Germany.

Otto only met Blue Artichoke's car Njiri once, but they got along well. He was saddened to hear of her demise, but reminisces about the good times in the parking lot that one night.

But I digress.

We, my roommate and I, have no gas at the house. We haven't had any for awhile now. It's become a game we're playing -- and in an odd way winning -- with the gas company.

When mail arrives at the Momo/Chocolate Challah (actual gourmand name pending) residence, we quickly separate it into three "buckets:"

1) Red Momo's mail -- this includes credit card bills and offers for still more credit cards, plus cards from my parents and White Mackerel's parents (why they send me cards I don't know, but I enjoy it).
2) Blue Chocolate Challah's mail -- this includes his random bill (most of his stuff is done via the internet) and offers from Subaru for him to buy a new car, because surely after six months he's tired of the one he bought.
3) Occupant/Resident/former roommates' mail -- this goes IMMEDIATELY into the trash with the exception of mail addressed to Purple Reluctant Vegetarian, who is not only my best friend but BCC's former roommate.

One envelope finally caught BCC's attention, however, and he opened it. It was addressed "occupant" and we have no idea how long we'd been throwing it out. But in the previous two years, there has been no gas bill for the apartment, and all of a sudden we had one for all that activity. It's only used for the stove/oven, so it wasn't too much, I suppose, but the fact of the matter is, we didn't feel we really owed them.

Blue Chocolate Challah decided he was going to call and tell them he would pay for the last lease period (eight months of the bill) and that was it, as he couldn't really be expected to pay for a bill that wasn't addressed to him. I agreed. However, before he called the gas company, they turned off the gas. It had been about four days, which is why we think they may have been sending bills to "Occupant" for some time.

In the meantime, we've purchased a hotplate. I'm not a big fan, I'll be quite honest, but it does the job (eventually). So we are not going hungry, but we do eat out a lot more. We also can only have one-dish meals.

Blue Chocolate Challah is moving out, however, at the end of the lease, and I will transfer everything to my name, plus call the gas company and get set up. And I will not -- repeat, WILL NOT -- be paying them when they can't get it right.

I was going to post a recipe but BA is back. YAY!

Posted by Red Momo, aka the Kosher Gentile at 03:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Though unable to blog about them, I've been keeping up with my projects. This Wandering Gullet meal was prepared, eaten and written about several weeks ago.

Navy Protein was in town for our traditional Sunday Wandering Gullet meal. For as long as I’ve known him NP has been a notoriously picky eater, which posed a problem when picking out this week’s country and meal. I do know that he likes the stuffed shells from our favorite Italian restaurant in Tennessee, so I picked Italy and made spinach stuffed shells. Most Italian pasta recipes are fatty and caloric, so I picked one that provided opportunities for lightening. Here’s the lightened version:

Spinach Stuffed Shells

¼ c. butter
¼ c. flour
2-½ c. skim milk
½ t. salt
2 t. tomato paste
8 oz. jumbo pasta shells*
2 (10 oz.) pkg frozen chopped spinach, thawed
1 c. fat-free cottage cheese
¾ c. Italian-style breadcrumbs
½ t. garlic powder
¼ c. grated Parmesan cheese

In a small saucepan, melt butter. Add flour; cook and stir over low heat until smooth. Gradually stir in milk. Cook and stir until thickened and smooth, ~5 minutes. Add salt and tomato paste; mix well with a wire whisk; set aside.

Cook shells according to directions; rinse with cold water and drain well.

Squeeze out as much liquid from spinach as possible; place in a bowl. Add cottage cheese, breadcrumbs and garlic powder; mix well.

Stuff heaping teaspoon of spinach mixture into each shell. Preheat oven to 350. Spoon 1/3 of reserved sauce over the stuffed shells. Repeat ending with sauce. Sprinkle with Parmesan. Cover and bake until hot, ~30 minutes.

Serves 6.

*If desired, substitute 12 oz. lasagna strips for the pasta shells. Cook according to pkg directions; drain and cut in halves. Spoon 1T. of spinach mixture in each strip’ roll up. Arrange in baking pan with sauce and cheese following preceding directions, placing rolls seam-side down. Bake as directed.

It was… OK. The original recipe called for only one (10 oz.) box of frozen spinach, which is what I used, and the shells had very little spinach flavor. If I make this again, I’ll double the spinach (already doubled in recipe above). This definitely doesn’t taste as good as what you’d get in a nice Italian restaurant, but that’s because I cut out most of the fat. For a healthier Italian meal, though, it’s pretty good, and will be improved by doubling the spinach. I served it with additional sautéed spinach with mushrooms and garlic bread.

Getting to Know All About You: What’s your favorite Italian dish?

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 04:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

If you'll remember, before corn retaliated against my blog, I excitedly bought lots of strawberries, some at the grocery store and some from a little ol' lady in the health department parking lot. With those strawberries, I made muffins, even though it was the first week of June and May is actually National Strawberry month. I'm such a renegade, bending all the rules. The recipe includes a recipe for strawberry jam, which I also made, using the smaller and riper strawberries. The jam is really easy, especially for novice jam-makers like me. There was no need for pectin or paraffin or processing the canning jars. Nope, the recipe is really simple, but the jam is so delicious. It won't last long in the fridge, but it's so good that it wouldn't last long anyway.

My berries were ripening quickly, so I made up the wet batter several days in advance, to save the strawberries from getting too ripe. It was then very easy to mix together the muffin batter. The muffins baked up into a nice thick crumb texture, with a light but distinct strawberry flavor. Super.

Strawberry-Orange Muffins

1-¼ cups halved strawberries
3 tablespoons butter or stick margarine, melted
2 teaspoons grated orange rind
2 large eggs
1-½ cups all-purpose flour
1-¼ cups sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
Cooking spray
2 teaspoons sugar

Preheat oven to 400°.

Combine first 4 ingredients in a blender, and process just until blended. Lightly spoon flour into dry measuring cups; level with a knife.

Combine flour, 1 1/4 cups sugar, baking powder, and salt. Add strawberry mixture to flour mixture, stirring just until moist. Spoon batter into 12 muffin cups coated with cooking spray. Sprinkle with 2 teaspoons sugar.

Bake at 400° for 20 minutes or until muffins spring back when touched lightly in center. Remove from pan immediately.

Serve warm with Brandied Strawberry Jam.

Yield: 1 dozen (serving size: 1 muffin)

CALORIES 184 (20% from fat); FAT 4g (sat 2.1g,mono 1.2g,poly 0.3g); PROTEIN 2.8g; CHOLESTEROL 45mg; CALCIUM 33mg; SODIUM 179mg; FIBER 0.8g; IRON 1mg; CARBOHYDRATE 34.8g
Cooking Light, MAY 1999

Brandied Strawberry Jam

This easy jam doesn't involve canning. It will keep in the fridge for about two weeks.

4 cups quartered strawberries
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup brandy, divided
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Combine strawberries, sugar, and 3 tablespoons brandy in a heavy Dutch oven; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer until reduced to 1 1/2 cups (about 45 minutes), stirring occasionally. Remove from heat; stir in 1 tablespoon brandy and vanilla. Spoon into a bowl; cool to room temperature. Cover and chill.

Yield: 1-1/2 cups (serving size: 1 tablespoon)

CALORIES 26 (3% from fat); FAT 0.1g (sat 0.0g,mono 0.0g,poly 0.1g); PROTEIN 0.2g; CHOLESTEROL 0.0mg; CALCIUM 4mg; SODIUM 0.0mg; FIBER 0.6g; IRON 0.1mg; CARBOHYDRATE 6g
Cooking Light, MAY 1999

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 03:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I missed this blog. This is an odd relationship. This blog is sometimes a burden, amusement, mental exercise, excuse, routine or project. Then, suddenly, it’s gone. I can’t see it, I can’t read it, I can’t post entries. I didn’t mind at first; it was a brief respite from thinking of topics and freed up extra time in my day. I kept thinking of things to write about, though, and jotted down ideas or wrote entries in Word to post later, if I ever recovered home access to the server. And I kept cooking, some truly awesome dishes. Here’s one of the best:

Ham-And-Greens Pot Pie With Cornbread Crust

Makes 8 to 10 servings
Prep: 15 min., Cook: 24 min., Bake: 20 min.,
Stand: 10 min.
Make the cornbread batter while the ham-and-greens mixture is simmering to ensure the cornbread cooks evenly and thoroughly.

4 cups chopped cooked ham (about 2 pounds)
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
3 cups low-sodium, fat-free chicken broth
1 (16-ounce) package frozen chopped collard greens
1 (15.5-ounce) can jalapeño-and-bacon-seasoned black-eyed peas, drained
1 (12-ounce) package frozen seasoning blend*
1/2 teaspoon dried crushed red pepper
2 (7-ounce) packages MARTHA WHITE Sweet Yellow Cornbread Mix

SAUTÉ ham in hot oil in a Dutch oven over medium-high heat 5 minutes. Add flour, and cook, stirring constantly, 1 minute. Gradually add chicken broth, and cook, stirring constantly, 3 minutes or until broth begins to thicken.

BRING mixture to a boil. Add collard greens and next 3 ingredients; return to a boil, and cook, stirring often, 15 minutes. Pour mixture into a lightly greased 13- x 9-inch baking dish.

PREPARE cornbread batter according to package directions (do not bake). Pour batter evenly over hot ham mixture.

BAKE at 425° for 20 minutes or until cornbread is golden and set. Let stand 10 minutes before serving.

* 1 onion, chopped; 1 green bell pepper, chopped; and 1 celery rib, chopped, may be substituted for frozen seasoning blend.

Recipe from Southern Living Cooking School 2005

I used the last of the leftover Maple-Glazed ham from Easter, but don’t let a lack of an Easter ham in your freezer keep you from making this. Have the deli at your grocery store cut some thick slices of ham for you. I couldn’t find frozen collard greens around here, so I used a fresh bunch, washed really well, ribs removed and coarsely chopped. I also couldn’t find the frozen seasoning blend, so I sautéed a chopped onion, celery rib and green pepper with the ham before adding the flour. Though the recipe calls specifically for Martha White cornbread mix, any true Southerner (and independent researcher) knows that Jiffy is the only cornbread mix worth using.

Not only is this dish fantastic, it was my very first taste of collard greens (I know, I know… perhaps I’m not a true Southerner). This was a significantly monumental occasion to make my 30 New Things list:

1. Roast a duck
2. Learn to make glass beads
3. Swim in an underground river
4. Sea-Trek
5. Touch a sea turtle
6. Make a chocolate meringue pie
7. Eat collard greens

I liked the collard greens and this dish so much that I’m making collards again this week, braised with bacon and brown sugar. Everything’s better with bacon; this dish doesn’t stand a chance of being undelicious. Of course, you won’t get to look forward to it as much as I will; my future is your past. Huh. Wrap your head around that.

Getting to Know All About You: What food have you always wanted to try?

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 12:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Someone hates my blog and has tried to thwart its continued existence. But why? Let’s be smart about this… I write mostly about food I cook and eat. Someone may be trying to smack down the Ultimate Snackdown, but why go to such great lengths for a rather sporadic project? No, I think there’s a bigger force at work. Take a look at the last entry I posted before this happened. Corn! Corn is pissed that I called it nature’s welfare queen. Corn has had its ego stroked for so long, being particularly amenable to genetic modification and posing the great hope for feeding famine-stricken and impoverished Africans. Then some small-town punk with an Internet connection (me) comes along and jeers at its odd sex life and highlights its dependence upon human intervention for survival. No one likes to have faults pointed out, especially to a handful of readers scattered about the country, so corn struck back. I live in the Midwest, surrounded by corn plants who were just waiting for a catalyst to band together in a common cause. Ordinarily, corn plants are peaceful, sun-loving guys, but when angered, they band together and release a stream of something, we’ll call it ethanol-radiation until further research defines the power, to interrupt my Internet signal. So refined was the corn ethanol-radiation that it specifically targeted the route my computer takes to connect to the server that hosts this blog. No other Internet traffic was affected. I feel obligated to notify some agricultural scientists at the University. A corn power so sophisticated and intelligent has incredible potential. The most obvious application is in the war on terror – get these corn plants pissed off at terrorists and channel that corn rage to sleeper cells. Interrupting cell phone signals must be much easier than identifying and blocking Internet traffic. It’s certainly cheaper than tapping all our phone lines, not to mention more ethical. Terrorists mock you, corn; they despise your popularity and fear your power. I don't think those taunts are good enough. We'll have to gather a Taunting Taskforce within the Department of Homeland Security to stir shit up between corn and terrorists.

I think I'll surround my house with ears of corn to block out all email spam and shut down telemarketers.

What are some other possibilities for this corn power?

P.S. I’m posting this entry via remote access of my brother’s computer. Corn, I outsmarted you this time.

P.P.S. Corn, I'm sorry, big kiss. (Let’s be friends…)

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 07:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

When it rains, it pours.

About two weeks ago a friend of mine and I were discussing how much we "missed" Mexican food. We really didn't miss it (we both moved from Denver to Boston), but were just trying to adjust to having other meals that were not Mexican. Back in Denver, we ate Mexican food several times a week. An excellent restaurant, Benny's on 6th, had fantastic Mexican food and I would say one of my friends virtually lives there. Their margaritas are also delicious.

This past Friday, my friend Ken wanted to celebrate his birthday dinner at the Border Cafe in Cambridge. So I went out to Harvard Square, found a parking space that was free and only a block away (this is unheard of), and went in. It was the best and the worst of Mexican restaurants, depending on your viewpoint. Loud, crazy colours, and smells that were quite... interesting. Sometimes they smelled incredible, other times like used diapers. Pretty typical, I'd say.

The food was at best passable. Of course, other events at the birthday party shindig distracted me, so I couldn't really concentrate on my food, but it was only passable and I can only remember what I ate because it had been such a long time since I'd even seen enchiladas. The rice was sub-par, and the black beans were too dry. Afterwards, we went to a bar in Back Bay and two of us had tequila shots. I could have done those all night.

Sunday afternoon after watching Kimi Raikkonen lose, again, in a Formula One Grand Prix, my roommate and I went to Boca, a Mexican place in Coolidge Corner (about a five minute walk). What I had there was a quesadilla with "Colorado Chicken" -- I felt I had to eat this simply because I had moved to Boston from Colorado, but was pleased when I saw a spicy-looking chicken that was labeled "Colorado Chicken." I wish I could tell you what went into it, but it was a nice blend of spices and reminiscent of mole. Very tasty.

I also ordered some nachos with cheese... hoping for a little bowl to dip the chips into... denied. It was a plate of nachos with the cheese microwaved on top... I hate that. The chips stick together and as soon as the cheese cools off, it becomes a very messy proposition trying to get one or two chips away from the mass.

I realise it was only two meals, but two Mexican meals in one weekend is a lot for me. And I've had my fill for a few weeks, unless someone says "hey, let's go get margaritas."

Oh, and sorry there's no recipes here. I ate out all weekend.

Getting to Know All About You: What's the food you thought you'd never get tired of, but are really sick of and kind of prefer you never see again?

Posted by Red Momo, aka the Kosher Gentile at 09:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

So, weeks ago, I had a dinner date. Nothing special, and things ultimately didn't pan out. But it was one of those "I want to cook for you" things, and as I was working late, it was decided we'd make dinner together at my house. We both had a craving for macaroni and cheese and decided to have that.

There was a slight glitch in that Dinner Date couldn't pick up the ingredients, not understanding the full extent of kashrut in the house. So after we were both at my house we went to the Shaw's, complete with its three aisles of kosher products. We picked up several types of cheese and some macaroni and let loose.

The result was nothing short of spectacular. Unfortunately, though, I do not have exact measurements. I have suggested one of my friend make this for her mac'n'cheese cook-off, and her sister and brother-in-law tried it the night I told them about it only to rave about it for days afterwards. That made me smile.

Anyway, have at it:

Killer Kosher Mac'n'Cheese

Ingredients:
macaroni
small block of Cabot white cheddar
small block of Cabot sharp cheddar
small block of Cabot chipotle cheese
1/2 c. milk
butter
Ritz crackers

Cook the pasta as per usual. Shred a lot of cheese -- just eyeball it and use more than you think you should (cheesier is better, right?). Heat the milk and half a stick of butter in a saucepan over low heat, then add the cheeses and melt them down.

Drain the pasta and put into a 9x13 (or whatever size you think works best) pan and smother with the cheese.

Crush up the a sleeve and a half of Ritz crackers, melt about a stick of butter and mix together, then cover the top of the pasta with the buttery Ritz crumbs.

Bake at 350 for about 30 minutes -- just keep an eye on it.

The Ritz and the chipotle cheese are what make this super tasty. Just enough kick, just enough butter (well, more butter than really is necessary, but butter is SO good). And you can use any brand of cheese as long as there is a hekhsher mark on it (if you want to keep it kosher) -- Cabot cheeses are all hehksher'd, which is why I specified them above.

If you want to go a bit treyf, throw some ham in there. Totally not kosher, but I can only imagine that it'd be fantastic. I'll have to keep imagining it until my roommate moves out.

Getting to Know All About You: Do you follow recipes or make it up as you go along? I'm a recipe person myself, but Dinner Date was not (which is why there are no measurements above)...

Posted by Red Momo, aka the Kosher Gentile at 08:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Yes, you can see my blog, and you can see that it's been quite a while since I last posted.

I can't see my blog, you see. Nor can I post to it.
The problem, as I understand it, is a roadbloack along the route my computer takes to get to the confounding server. It is caused by either my IP address or by gremlins, both out of my control.

All I can do is sit tight and hope the problem resolves itself. When that doesn't work, I'll take a flashlight and a screwdriver to the Internet and tinker until something happens.

(I'm posting this entry from the public library, where it is almost impossible to find an empty computer in the summer. I snatched this one because I'm rude.)

Getting to Know All About You: What's the oddest computer problem you've faced?

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 01:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)