blue artichoke

What do you do when you have a self-imposed ban on shopping at Wal-Mart and Target during this back-to-school season and you need to buy tortillas and a cable splitter? Well, if you're me, you drive to the ghetto grocery store down the street and wander around looking at all the dented cans and expired boxes of Rice-a-Roni until you realize that they don't have any tortillas, and, even if they did, the tortillas would probably be stale. Next, you go to Staples to get the cable splitter. Staples is right in the parking lot of Wal-Mart, mind you, but you're so smart and you're going to avoid that crowd. The first sales person to pounce on you as you walk in, as they always seem to do at Staples, tells you that they don't carry cable splitters. Better go to Circuit City or Radio Shack. Uh-oh. There's a lifetime ban on Radio Shack for abominable service in the past and I have no idea where a Circuit City might be. Best Buy is all the way across town. Well. You next head to the grocery store around the corner where they too do not have any tortillas. What is with the lack of tortillas in this town? You know that there are some at Wal-Mart. And a cable splitter too. You've already wasted 1-1/2 hours. Even if it takes another hour to get these two items, at least you're guaranteed success at Wal-Mart. Or you could drive around aimlessly, looking out for a Circuit City. Nope. To Wal-Mart. Ban is lifted! Ten minutes later, you are back in your car, with a package of corn tortillas and a cable splitter on the seat next to you. And no children were hurt in the process. You're smart. You used the self-check-out lane.