blue artichoke

I set my oven on fire again. How does this happen, and so often, and to me? My oven was clean, from the thorough scrubbing from the last time it caught on fire. Obviously I have angered Uncle Ben, the Patron Saint of Kitchens. Revenge for swearing off use of the oven for the summer? I never knew Uncle Ben, so benevolent looking, could be so malicious. All I was doing was broiling 2 packages of bacon when the bacon grease ignited. So how do you put out a grease fire? Not with water! Or prayer (Oh, almighty Uncle Ben, please extinguish your heavenly light burning up my oven! In the name of the Uncle, the Cook and Converted White Rice, Amen!) Opening the oven door made the flames leap out pretty high. After shutting the oven to see if it would go out if deprived of oxygen, and crossing my fingers that it would just go away, I finally yanked open the door and emptied a new carton of baking soda into the oven. It didn't even make a dent in the fire. I pulled out the tray and started dumping flour on top and flailing my oven mitt at the flames (luckily, this oven mitt is flame retardant). I got the fire put out just before the smoke alarm went off, so I ran to fan the alarm and open windows and turn on fans. The house aired out so quickly that I wonder if it even happened at all? Maybe it was just a vision sent by Uncle Ben to get me on the path to righteous rice.

Dinner tonight: cookout