blue artichoke

The most efficient system of government is a benevolent dictatorship. But what happens when the benevolence become self-serving and detrimental to all the loyal subjects? Well, then it is an oppressive regime, and that's bad. A two-party system, with all its flaws, is a better alternative. The best one can hope for is that the two parties will keep each other honest and benevolent, and at worst, that they will block each other from acting and nothing gets done. The Supreme Ruler of my Mouth (the Crown) started out benevolent, but then started making bad decisions, such as ordering me to drink too much beer and buy Snickers Almond candy bars and a bag of Lay's Sour Cream & Onion potato chips. Absolute power corrupts absolutely; it turned into an oppressive sweet tooth with occasional salty cravings. The other teeth began to protest and chose another leader among themselves. This new leader, who was crowned yesterday afternoon in a simple, yet elegant, ceremony, was chosen to represent the Maxilla district (aka, Teeth of the Upper Jaw). The previous Supreme Ruler is now master of the Mandible district (Teeth of the Lower Jaw). The Maxilla Crown ran a campaign for healthy eating and professed a love for broccoli. The Mandible Crown promised to give the teeth what they want: sugar, soda, and salty snacks. The Crowns are directly opposed to each other (as in, they touch when I chew) to keep a balance of power and facilitate cooperation.

The Maxilla Crown wasted no time asserting its authority. Its first decree was a healthy breakfast. Instead of a bowl of cereal or a hunk of banana bread, this morning I had a banana mashed up with nonfat plain yogurt, drizzled with honey and topped with a handful of blueberries, followed by a fistful of raw almonds and an omega-3 fish pill supplement (more on omega-3 tomorrow). Long live the Crowns!

Dinner last night: Kielbasa, Israeli couscous salad with pistachios