blue artichoke

Squad is one of the weirdest words there is. Though not common, it is coarse and no accent can make it sound charming. Foliage is also a weird word, but in a different way.

I dreamed about the Kentucky Derby last night. Don't forget, it's coming up next Sunday. In my dream, I accidentally placed a $400 bet instead of a $40 bet, and the race started before I could correct the mistake. Also, I got pissed off at a woman who butted in front of me in line and heckled me for not wanting to hold her kid.

Dinner last night: Mexican food, from a chain Mexican restaurant
Dinner tonight: ham & asparagus casserole

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 05:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I dreamed about banana bread with parsley last night. I also dreamed that I really want to watch Scary Movie. I sorta understand about the banana bread. I'm still in the Snackdown and made a new recipe yesterday. It didn't have parsley in it. Nor do any of my recipes, probably because that would be gross. I don't know about the movie, unless I saw an ad for Scary Movie 19, or whichever sequel they're on now. If that's it, that's scary how insidious an advertisement can be, invading dreams, whispering softly, "Watch me. You'll love this movie. All the popular kids have already seen it. You don't want to be left out, do you?"

I finished reading Home Land. The idea behind it was great: loser writes updates for his high school alumni newsletter. The style was a bit unbecoming, a bit too ADD in parts, too ingratiating in other parts. All in all, enjoyable, but it doesn't quite fulfill it's potential. Kind of like the main character. I also read Holes. That was a super-quick read. I read it all yesterday, in three sittings. That one I really liked. I forget that young adult novels include more than The Babysitter's Club or Sweet Valley High. There have been several young adult novels that I've really liked, such as The Giver and Sophie's World. And now, Holes. And now that I've read the book, I can watch the movie!

Banana Bread #12, Best Banana Bread
From www.banana.com. This recipe is OK. Definitely not the best. It is rather moist, which is good, but not very sweet, which is bad. I could add more sugar, I suppose, but I don't think it's worth it. There have already been several other recipes that are far superior to this one.

Dinner last night: Apple-Cranberry Chicken Salad, purple artichokes

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 04:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In college, I knew a guy who made everyone else feel awkward. He was oblivious, I think, but he had a kind of intensity that made other people uncomfortable. I didn't mind, though, because I'm quite comfortable with awkwardness. I'm an introvert, so I feel awkward almost any time I'm around strangers, especially if I'm expected to make small talk. Sometimes I do OK. Sometimes I freak out and say strange things. Usually I act; I try to put on a persona that is comfortable with chitchat. Alcohol helps. The real problem arises when I'm suddenly thrust into a situation without adequate time to prepare my role. Such as the stop-and-chat. I ran into a friend of a friend at the grocery store, recognized him as I was passing, said, "hey" and kept going. He said more than "hi." I was already past, what do I do? I saw him later when out for drinks with friends and he said that our encounter was actually the least awkward part of his week. Again, I encountered the stop-and-chat yesterday, walking to the post office. I was wearing earphones that are like earplugs that play music. They block out all outside sound. I saw a guy walking toward me and recognized him as someone a neighbor brought to one of my parties. I had talked to him at the party, but that was months ago. He's more than a stranger, but less than an acquaintance. Do I stop to chat, or nod an acknowledgement and keep going? I chose the latter, but I saw him say something as he drew even with me. I couldn't hear him; stopping would be weird and ignoring him would be rude. I was rude, and just kept going. Ack! No wonder people think I'm unfriendly. I don't hate people; I'm just scared of talking to them.

I've heard that a good way for introverts to deal with small talk is to ask questions to keep the focus on the other person. That sounds good in theory, but what sort of questions? I don't like to talk about politics unless I'm feeling spiteful and don't care about sports (other than MMA, of course), and the standard questions ("what do you do?" or "where are you from?") are reciprocal and will soon be asked of me. I think a better social skill might be how to tactfully end a conversation. "I have diarrhea" or "I've grown tired of your company" will work, but aren't very tactful. Or maybe I should just act like my college friend and make everyone else feel awkward. Take that, extroverts!

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 07:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

1. I'm not Greek
2. I don't know anything about Greek Orthodoxy, except that Red Momo said that their Easter was last weekend.
3. I can't make pastisio

I rarely get to cook for the big holidays, because I'm usually traveling to my mom's or Gentleman Caller's parents'. So, I make due with celebrating the holidays of other countries, such as Cinco de Mayo and, now, Greek Orthodox Easter. So, yesterday I made Red Momo's recipe for pastisio, which is a glorified beef-a-roni: layers of macaroni, Greek cheeses, ground beef in tomato sauce, topped with a cream sauce and cinnamon. It was glorious, but not without many disasters. It makes a lot. A lot. I used two 13x9" pans and should probably have used a third pan, in hindsight. I filled the two pans all the way up, put them in the oven and went out to the front porch to watch a thunderstorm roll in. I went in to check on the pastisio about 20 minutes later and found my oven on fire. Whoops! The filling had bubbled over the top, dripped down to the steel pan I keep in the oven and off to the oven floor. The pan was so hot that it was smoking and the fire on the bottom of the oven added even more smoke. It poured out of the oven and filled the house. I set Gentleman Caller up in the hallway, fanning the smoke alarm, while I opened all the windows and set up fans to blow the smoke outside. I put out the fire in the oven, turned it off and left the pastisio inside to finish cooking, then I went outside to get some fresh air. It was unbelievably smoky inside. My eyes burned and I kept coughing. It gave GC an awful headache. Once the smoke cleared out and the pastisio had finished cooking and firmed up, we ate it and watched The Sopranos. The pastisio was great, even with the slight smoky flavor, but when I next make it, I'll either halve the recipe or use a third pan. As is, we have enough leftover to last until next Greek Easter.

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 09:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

For my birthday (which was a long time ago), Gentleman Caller gave me a trip to St. Louis. Yesterday, we finally went. We started off at the Science Center to see Mysteries of the Nile OMNIMAX. I love IMAX and OMNIMAX movies. The subject doesn't really matter; the format is what I love. I did, however, really want to see this particular movie, because I'm a bit of a masochist and love to read books or watch movies about Africa. I used to live there, you see, and get quite nostalgic and pine for Africa. My last trip back was eight years ago, when I studied in Zimbabwe for a summer and took a side trip to South Africa for a week. Good times.

Anyway, after the movie and lunch, we went to the City Museum, which is pretty much a huge jungle gym. Inside are caves with secret tunnels and nooks for small children to get lost in; outside is a building-size network of monkey bars and slides, with two gutted airplanes and wire tunnels. My knees are bruised from crawling and climbing so much. Also inside is an aquarium, with Plexiglas tunnels through the giant tanks, so you can crawl though and be surrounded by brightly colored fish or sea turtles and sharks. Some huge tanks captivated Gentleman Caller, who was content to sit on the floor and watch the fish swim and dart around. This is by far the coolest museum I've ever been to. I want to build a replica and live in it. How awesome would it be to crawl through tunnels and emerge into a magical food court (or kitchen), then climb through a small porthole and slide down to the bedroom?

On our way back home, we stopped at Trader Joe's and World Market to stock up on junk food, wine and beer. Greatest birthday present ever.

Dinner last night: leftover fish tacos (for GC) and leftover chicken tacos for me

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 12:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I finished reading The Bridge on the Drina earlier this week. It's the sort of book I never would have chosen to read on my own, but really enjoyed it. Sort of like assigned reading in high school. It is one of those books that probably has a deeper meaning, but I read it lazily in the hammock, so my enjoyment was purely on a superficial reading. I have magazines stacking up, so I read several of those before diving into The Secret Life of Bees. Last night I tried to stop reading with ~50 pages left, but after I turned out my light, I kept thinking about the book. Finally, I crept down the hall to my office and finished the book. I took a Southern fiction class in college and really like that genre, which I suppose this book fits. I'm now feeling a bit guilty for swatting a bee on the porch at Gentleman Caller's parents' house last weekend. At the time, I thought I was saving the grandparents from a bee sting, but now I know that I should have given love to the bee, and maybe drawn it out of the porch with marshmallow peeps or Smarties. For penance, today I bought a tube of Burt's Bees chap stick, in the new honey flavor. Can't say that I'm wild about it; it's a bit gritty. Original is definitely better.

I walked to the library this morning to return the two books and to check out two more. I like to get library books in twos: more than two and I feel I don't get enough exercise walking to and from the library, fewer than two is inefficient. Today, though, I got three. All three looked like fast reads, so it shouldn't be too long until I trek back to the library. I got Home Land, which is about guy who writes to his high school alumni newspaper about how he turned out to be a dud. I'm not sure how this got on my list, but the thesis has potential to be quite funny, though I'm unsure about the execution. I started reading this one when I got home from the library. The other two that I checked out are Holes, recommended by Black Cake, and Running with Scissors, recommended a long time ago by my brother.

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 03:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

It's been years since I made Rice Krispy treats, but I've been thinking about them a lot lately. My diet in college relied heavily on these snacks from the dorm vending machines, but I never thought the mass-produced ones were as good as homemade. I made them fairly often in those days, so I was surprised to find that I didn't have a recipe. I guess I always used the one on the box of cereal or on the bag of marshmallows, neither of which had a recipe this time. I cobbled together a recipe and added dried cranberries. These things are so good, they've got a bit of the devil in them. Cravings are tricky things: insistent and particular, and oh, so satisfying to fulfill.

Dinner tonight: country chicken casserole

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 11:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Banana Bread #11, Cranberry Banana Bread
Recipe source unknown. This banana bread uses baking powder, instead of the usual baking soda. It also uses applesauce, fat-free milk and egg substitute to make it low-fat. It is mixed in one bowl, making for an easy cleanup. The inside is lighter than most traditional banana breads, but the outside has a nice brown crust. The banana flavor is mild; I might add another banana next time I make it. The dried cranberries add a sweet-tart flavor that is rather nice. Gentleman Caller ranks this one in the top three. I agree that it's a keeper.

And, to change the subject away from the snackdown, I came up with another way to make people feel uncomfortable. Mispronounce words. One in every sentence. Or maybe just proper nouns. Try it.

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 09:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I didn't get to do much cooking over the weekend because Gentleman Caller and I went to Nashville to meet our new 2-week-old identical twin nieces. I did get to help with Easter brunch, though. I made Maple-Pecan Pork Chops. It's rather nerve-wracking to try a new recipe for a big group of people, but if something goes wrong, I always blame the recipe. Nothing went wrong and the chops were pretty good. Gentleman Caller's grandfather is a picky eater; he doesn't like "sauce", but he does like "gravy." We called the apple juice-maple syrup-walnut sauce "gravy" so he would try it. He did, and he liked it. It's all semantics. He also isn't fond of casseroles, so the squash casserole, potato casserole and corn casserole became simply squash, potatoes and corn.

Gentleman Caller and I went to the Fresh Market in Brentwood to get some flowers for his mother. I wandered through the store and picked up some treasures in the bulk snacks aisle. We sampled a few treats and discovered chocolate-covered apricots. I thought they sounded unusual, so filled half a bag. Yum! I should have filled a gallon-size ziploc bag with these treats, because we're already almost out. I wish there were a Fresh Market here. Gentleman Caller wants to order more online, they're that good.

Dinner tonight: Diner Meat Loaf Muffins; Morningstar Farms spinach artichoke veggie nuggets
You might have noticed that I've been making meat loaf an awful lot lately. I've been doing an unofficial meatloaf snackdown; now it's official. Sunday night is meat loaf night (I know; today is Monday, but we were out of town, so this is a make-up Sunday night meat loaf). So far, there are two meat loaves that are worth repeating. I'm surprised at how many stinkers I have in my recipe collection. I still have many to go, though.

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 07:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Man. It's hot. And we don't have central A/C, so we have to haul the window units out of storage and have the landlord install them. It's too hot for that much activity. I passed the day alternately lying in the hammock, reading and working on my tan, and clearing out the basement, where it is still nice and cool. I tried some of that new lotion that is a moisturizer + self-tanning lotion, hoping to even out some of my more unusual tan lines acquired in Cancun. I dislike self-tanners because of the smell. I sniffed all the self-tanning moisturizers and settled on Jergens because it smelled the least like self-tanning lotion. Cheeky lotion: the nice smell wears off after application, then the self-tanning smell emerges and follows me around. So disappointing. While at cooking school, I developed a keen sense of smell, and have since found almost all scented things intolerable. I buy all lotions, deodorants, soaps, etc. in their unscented varieties. Why don't they make unscented shampoo or conditioner? I usually go for the one that smells most like soap and least like flowers/fruit/perfume. Did you know that I wash my hair only twice a week? It's true.

Dinner last night: cherry chicken salad
Dinner tonight: leftover meatloaf

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 06:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Thanks to you guys, I have an interesting array of summer reading. I walked to the library yesterday and checked on the availability of the books you've suggested. The library has all of them, but most were checked out. I came home with The Bridge on the Drina and The Secret Life of Bees. Yesterday I settled down into the hammock and started reading The Bridge on the Drina. The warm sun and the distant drone of lawnmowers lulled me into a nap, but I also managed to read the first several chapters. I had expected something akin to The Bridge of San Luis Rey, but it isn't like that at all. In fact, it's quite gruesome at points. I love it.

Dinner last night: gnocchi with peas in a brown butter-sage sauce; Polish kielbasa

Banana Bread #10, Coconut Banana Bread with Lime Glaze
Recipe from Cooking Light. As you can guess from the title, this banana bread has coconut in it, and a lime-coconut glaze. What you might not guess is that there is also dark rum in the recipe. The bread has a good appearance and texture; flavor is coconut-sweet and lime-tangy. An interesting bread that is good but not great. I keep knocking recipes out of the competition one after the other. Only 19 more recipes left. That's right. Nineteen.

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 10:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I have a temporarily crowned Supreme Ruler of Teeth. I get the real crown in about a month, when it is custom designed with jewels and strobe lights, and a poison capsule in case I should ever be captured and tortured to give up secret family recipes or other priceless information.

Last weekend I started redoing an end table. First I decoupaged a faux-leather top, then I decided to repaint the bottom shelf and legs. I applied a second coat of paint this morning. It looks neat. I also bought a hammock stand and set up my hammock in the back yard. It sort of sucks the ambition right out of me.

Has anyone tried the new diet Dr. Pepper Berries 'N Cream? I came across it at Wal-Mart, reaching for a diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper and ending up with this new one. Hmmm. I'll give it a whirl. I like it a lot. It tastes like black cherry soda mixed with cream soda, which happen to be two of my favorite soda flavors. Yum. Since I was trying new things already, I bought a Reese's caramel cup. It was OK. I like the original better. Did you know there are 12 flavors of Reese's cups? I think I've had three: original peanut butter, white chocolate and caramel. You?

Dinner last night: bacon-wrapped meat loaf with brown sugar-ketchup glaze; roasted potatoes

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 12:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Things I learned at the dentist:
1) I am a drooler. The dentist had to take an impression of my teeth to fit me for a crown (that tooth will be King and Supreme Ruler of my mouth) and while the trays were in my mouth, I drooled buckets. My bib was soaking wet and drool slipped underneath the bib and ran down my chest. And that was just on the first tray. I challenge anyone to a drool-off.

2) I have a lazy ligament in my jaw. Ol' Lazyface. I told my dentist that my jaw had been crackling and popping for about a month. Nothing painful, but I wanted to see what he thought of it. He ran me through some rather awkward jaw exercises and determined that I have a lazy ligament that doesn't return my jaw back to its proper position. Neat! Nothing can be done until it gets worse.

3) Cookies make friends. During the Chocolate Chip Cookie Snackdown, I took a batch or two to my dentist and his staff. That's what they remember about me, and whisper loving things about the cookies into my ear as they clean my teeth and drill around in my mouth. I'll take a batch of the winning cookie when I return on Monday for part one of crowning the Supreme Ruler of Teeth. I want to make sure my dentist and his staff are on my side, just in case it should ever come to war between humans and their teeth.

Dinner last night: polish kielbasa; broccoli & cauliflower gratin
Dinner tonight: some fancy get-together at Gentleman Caller's boss's house

Oh yeah, and I made another batch of banana bread:
Banana Bread #9, Banana Orange Bread
Recipe source unknown. This bread has no fat; it uses orange juice concentrate in place of oil or butter. This makes it really dry. It also uses both baking powder and baking soda (just soda is usual). And calls for raisins and pumpkin pie spice. There are just too many things going on, too many flavors, and though there are two bananas in the loaf, you can't taste them at all. It tastes spicy, bitter-orangy and sweet-raisiny. And it looks weird too. The top crust is smooth, hard and shiny, like some sort of baked exoskeleton. Not appealing. This is the worst recipe so far.

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 04:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I made, quite possibly, the world's greatest brownie today. Think of brownies, with chopped up Snickers bars stirred into the batter, then all that topped with a giant Hershey's milk chocolate bar. Yum, right? Maybe not. These brownies are simply too delicious to be eaten. I tried, and I broke a tooth. A molar. In half. Half of my molar is sitting on the desk right next to me, still reeling from the supreme chocolaty goodness. What caused my tooth to break? There aren't any hard pieces in the brownies, no, they are moist and gooey and perfect. It must be a brownie self-defense mechanism. Humans are the natural predators of brownies; with this recipe, brownies have evolved into a perfect being, capable of self-preservation. I bet these brownies understand string theory too.

Dinner last night: Pan-seared chicken breasts with bacon-sage brown rice; baby carrots
Dinner tonight: the memory of when I had a full mouth of teeth; something that doesn't require chewing

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 03:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Today was colder and overcast, so I stayed inside all day. It's a difficult transition from spending most of my time outdoors to sequestering myself inside, which is my usual m.o. But I got so much accomplished today! I highlighted my hair (subtle this time; no disasters), made a tuna salad for Gentleman Caller's lunch, watched an episode of The Sopranos, cleaned the kitchen, washed some towels, did my taxes and made another loaf of banana bread.

Banana Bread #8, Classic Banana Bread
Recipe from Cooking Light. Now this is what I call banana bread. No special ingredients to confuse the palate or detract from the simple goodness of classic banana bread. This loaf has a dark brown chewy crust and a golden interior that is moist and springy. So soft and delicious. This one moves to the top of the list, joining Blueberry Banana Bread (#3) and Cream-Cheese Banana-Nut Bread (#1) as the leading contenders.

Dinner tonight: Chicken Divan

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 09:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I'm back from Spring Break Cancun! As you can see, I've posted entries from my vacation. It's always so difficult to return after a vacation, but mid-MO is warm and balmy right now, so the transition wasn't too traumatic. Last time I went to Mexico was in January (with Black Cake and Red Meat). We returned to cold and snow. I was sick for about a week. And we looked so strange, with nice suntans in the middle of January. I told people I spent my Christmas vacation in a tanning bed. Anyway, with no pool outside, I don't know what to do with my days. I don't want to hang out inside all day. Yesterday, Gentleman Caller and I played disc golf. Today we walked downtown for lunch. My big plans for today are to go to the grocery store and to get out my warmer weather clothes and pack up my winter sweaters. Big fun.

Something I'm discovering about myself is that I like structure. I often balk at rules and restrictions, unless they are self-imposed. So, I'm declaring April to be healthy eating month. Now that my cupboards have been stripped of almost all junky food and decadent treats, it will be pretty easy to change eating habits. On vacation, I read a slow food magazine and some magazines I picked up at Whole Foods, so I'm gung-ho for simply prepared fresh foods. No deep fryers or processed snacks for me! I'm not so good at outright denial, though, so I'm allowing myself to eat whatever I want on Sunday. Today, that meant a grilled ham and Swiss on rye with fries for lunch.

The Banana Bread Snackdown will continue. I took two loaves of banana bread to Cancun. Here are the results:
Banana Bread #6, Polka Dot Banana Bread
Recipe source unknown. The recipe called for half whole-wheat flour and half white all-purpose flour. The wheat flour didn't significantly alter the taste, but did make it a bit healthier. The recipe also called for yogurt to cut down on the amount of butter, another healthy change. I omitted the nuts. The "polka dot" in the title refers to the addition of mini chocolate chips. The bread was definitely good, but not superb.

Banana Bread #7, Cardamom Banana Bread with Pistachios
Recipe from Cooking Light. I'm a big fan of both cardamom and pistachios, but both were too subtle. A waste of both. I would either have to increase both significantly, or just eat the pistachios and save the cardamom for a different application. I'm leaning toward the latter.

Dinner last night: Garlic and Indian-spiced roasted chicken; corn on the cob; oven baked potato wedges

Posted by Blue Artichoke at 01:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)